This could be the title of a porn film. Instead, it's of the state of my butt.
I've been having so much fun with my telescopic pruning saw, that I decided to have a go at the African acacia tree. The ones you see in temperate U.S. climates have lovely fern-like leaves and fragrant flowers. African acacias are designed to discourage hungry elephants and giraffes, hence, the 2-inch thorns that have an irritating sap.
I got all the branches off and dragged them to the pile of garden debris, then went back for the trunk which wasn't very big, but heavy enough that I needed to drag it while walking backwards. Because this shit only happens to me, I of course tripped, just as I reached the pile, and landed right on the cut branches. Many, many swear words later, I sat in a tub with water and ice. It looks like my butt was used for a game of darts.
And no, I can't show you a picture, I don't have a wide-angle lens.